The amount of pressure I put on myself for coming up with the perfect title for this blog was of stupid proportions. Lordy, I act as if it’s going to be chiseled into stone and it’s going to be tattooed to my forehead. When really, a click, some tapping on the keyboard and poof! It’s changed.
Even so, the title I chose is fitting. I picked it from this quote attributed to Gail Sheehy:
“Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.”
I like security. Actually, I lust after security and will tie myself into pretzel knots in pursuit of it. But, in my mid-20’s I unintentionally began to learn about this thing called “personal growth”. I gave birth to a son, and something within started pointing out certain particulars. Such as how passing out in front of your infant son’s door so he couldn’t crawl out may not be something good moms do. Nor was smoking weed with him in the car. (Who knew?) More on those things later.
In short time, I could see that change was required if I was going to raise a human and not deeply scar him. Which, Life may have done that anyway, but I didn’t want to offer him up for the sacrifice, either.
The countless changes I’ve made, or been through or been dragged kicking and screaming through ever since have been a grow-or-go-situation. It’s Natural Law. It’s Mother Nature’s cycle – that which does not grow or evolve becomes extinct.
Gail’s quote has often been a reassurance that the treacherous feeling of insecurity is only temporary. A reminder that a surrender is done voluntarily when you realize you are out of options and ideas (voluntarily-ish???). It also promises the growth is worth it.
Like millions of other writers, “my writing” started out very close to my heart, and was rarely shared with others. Early ridicule, judgement and threats kept it stifled for decades.
I see now that it wasn’t really stifled. It was being protected. It was being protected until the environment necessary to tend to it, nurture it and sustain it existed. It’s Natural Law. It’s why there are wombs and eggs and exoskeletons throughout Mother Nature. To protect the Spirit within, but only for as long as it needs protecting.
My writer-self no longer needs protecting. To grow and evolve as a writer, I must get “out there.” I know of no greater “out there” than the internet. It is my proving ground. Where I will crawl, stand, waddle and walk into new adventures and gain a new security.
In temporary surrender,